The Hidden Post – Week 5

I’m not sure HOW hidden this post will be, but it’s a quick one, that’s for sure!

The rules of the One Room Challenge are to provide weekly updates, via blog or Instagram. If you DON’T follow my Instagram, you should because I am SIGNIFICANTLY less wordy there. (Also, my IG ORC posts have been boss, if I do say so myself.). If you have zero idea what the ORC is, you can read about my challenge adventure here.

So here, quickly, is this week’s update:

Curtains/Draperies/Thosethingsonthefrontwindows:

First the bad news….I didn’t see the email telling me the replacement interlining fabric that I’d ordered was out of stock. So I’ve had to find a new supplier and am now waiting for that delivery so I can finish the panels on the left window.

But the panels on the right?

Love love love love LOVE LOVE LOVE them. The linen, the europleats, the trim.

After hemming panels two through four by machine, I went back to hand sewing. The invisible stitches are just so worth it to me. And, as you may know, I get obsessive about this perfectiony stuff. And that leads me to this tale:

The FREAKING LUCKIEST THiNG THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME (this year, at least) – A story within a post, by Em

Once upon a time, Em was hand sewing her curtains/draperies/thosethingsonthefrontwindows with her usual obsessive eye on the smallest of details (in sharp contrast to the way she neglects to notice dog snot on her windows or accumulating dust). She noted to herself that when applying the Ogee trim

to the leading edge of each panel, she would have to make sure the trim was perfectly aligned at the sides so as not to look crooked, AND that it should start at the same point at the top: a very small but life defining detail IF and only if you are the crazy person that Em is.

Em’s husband went out of town one fine cheesecake-for-dinner kind of day. And rather than meet up with her secret non-existent boyfriend while the cat was away, she vowed to complete one set of panels before the cat returned and her evenings were once again filled with Perry Mason reruns and falling asleep on the couch..

Long past her bedtime, Em continued to stitch, then meticulously applied the trim, ensuring proper and perfect alignment to the edge. She then measured, sewed, and handtacked the phenomenally spectacular euro pleats,

hung the curtain panel, woot wooted, and at 1am, crawled into bed where she and her ice-cold feet would remain until the light shone through her newly and beautifully curtained/draperied/whateverthey’recalled front windows.

She awoke, poured coffee and went downstairs to the pingpong worktable to pick up all the loose threads, clipped fabric and wayward pins she had tossed willy nilly in the vicinity….WHEN SUDDENLY she saw the trimmed-off Ogee remnant on the floor,

A wave of horror attacked the shores of her aging body, filling her veins with ice that re froze her shearling-slippered feet as she realized she had NOT, INDEED, assured that the trim placement had started in the exact place as the prior curtain panel.

Sheepishly, she turned to climb the stairs, reliving the mistake step by step until she would reach the top of the basement stairs and notice for the first time of EVERY FREAKING TIME THEREAFTER, that she had NOT aligned the trim and that everyone everywhere would know that she had effed it up.

As she reached the top step, she raised her glance (despite her age-induced droopy eyelids) to discover that despite all the other things God has on his plate, he mercifully allowed this undeserving hag a crazy-arsed windfall of luck:

And she lived happily ever after….until whatever problem surfaces in Week 6.