The Song Butcher

It’s one of my favorite dreams:

There I am, backstage in a packed concert arena. Thousands of excited fans ready for me to take the stage. The music starts, the crowd goes wild. The announcer bellows, “And here she is… Let’s welcome to the stage…”

and then I wake up.

Every single time.

I guess the same mechanism that wakes me from the verge of death in a nightmare considers it a fair tradeoff to similarly pull the plug when I am on the cusp of dream-induced fame and fortune.

Then again….MAYBE I wake up as a protection from something else: like, utter embarrassment.

Because as in real life, dreamlike famous-musical-artist me might, in fact, be a SONG BUTCHER.

Sing along with me:

“She’s got electric boobs, and motor shoes. You know I read it in a magaZEENah, ooooh-h. B-B-B-Benny and the Jetsssss”

or

“Rocket Man, we’re runnin’ outta booze up here alone”

“Come-a, come-a, come-a, come-a, come-a, come-a Chameleon”

A little Michael Jackson:

“Keep on, for the post op. Don’t stop ’til you get enough.”

Or these favorite lines from “Build me up, Buttercup”:

“I’ll be home, beside my Xylophone, waiting for youuuuuu”

When I’m home alone, I often call up some of my Spotify playlists and belt out those private lyric mutilations for my own and resident canine enjoyment.

I have indeed become my parents because I’ve either forgotten the correct lyrics, can’t hear or understand them (sorry, Ariana Grande); or just don’t care anymore if I mutilate them. And trust me, it used to make me insane when people botched lyrics. I’ve passed that gene on to my youngest son, btw. It’s actually hilarious. You can see it in his eyes. He struggles SO hard not to correct me out of respect, but it kills him inside. Trust me, I COMPLETELY understand. Bwahahaha.

Mutilated lyrics are not only MY thing…there’s an actual term for it…”mondegreen.” As further proof, Mr and I discovered these mondegreen coasters in a gift shop over the past weekend. I spent 20 minutes in the gift shop laughing like a loon (which drew an audience of its own) while reading through all of them, They DEFinitely came home with me. Great gift idea, btw… (And there’s no affiliate link. I write the posts, not shop for you…geez!)

One of my favorite mondegreens–rediscovered while writing this post–comes from “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”:

“The girl with colitis goes by.” hahaha…so my humor.

Another music requirement is to turn up the volume until I can’t tell how off key I am. This way, in my head, I’m Celine Dion (while in real life, I’m backyard cat).

Gosh, I enjoy music. Pop, standards, musical soundtracks, a little country…a little of everything. Nothing can set a mood better than a wonderful song. It stops you and invites you in…for happy, for love, for all kids of emotion. I can thoroughly feel my parents warmth when Wynnona Judd sings “All of that Love from Here”.….and while the lyrics beyond the first stanza don’t apply, I will always wish for a nice slow dance with Mr if at anytime Garth Brooks’ “One Night a Day” is in earshot.

I love lyrics, the craft of them (which is somewhat ironic considering how often I butcher them). But wow, I have such an appreciation for the cadence and the way a good lyricist can put a rhyme to the rhythm and make it fit when it shouldn’t. It’s something that wouldn’t work if you simply read it, but put to music…whoa, a whole other deal, like the lyrics in One Last Hope from Disney’s Hercules. (“excuses/Zeus is. merchandiser/advisor. It takes more than sinew…comes down to what’s in you”) Try it… the read is an entirely pale experience compared to the listen.

It’s the upbeat songs that shape my regular day. The bopping. The beat. Some day I’ll likely be caught retail dancing on a viral video. Has this ever happened to you…you’re traversing an Old Navy with a collection of $12 tees shirts on your arm, and suddenly Whitney Houston is piped out of the speakers making you “Wanna Dance With Somebody.” I resist, but some day, I will lose what’s left of my inhibitions and dance when I feel like it.

I have lots of playlists on my Spotify account and they are day changers. HOWEVER… a terrible thing happened in the last year. My family worked from home.

No blasting music, no concerts for pets, no “who cares what the words are, I’m singing them anyway.” No Whitney, no Earth, Wind, and Fire, no Petula Clark, Rick Astley, Supertramp, James Ingram, Eye of the Tiger, favorite church songs, or musical soundtracks.

I clean better when blasting Billy Joel, Dan Hartman, George Benson or whoever pops up on my shuffled playlist. It makes me forget how much I don’t feel like cleaning. And yes, I not only sing, but simultaneously offer my best Elaine Benes-esque dance moves as well.

It’s quite a spectacle, trust me. (The dogs are sworn to secrecy, btw.) It’s just not the kind of show you can put on in front of your family without traumatizing them. As of May, all residents of this house returned to their offices. And so…

Okay, well, that was fun. For me, ha ha.

I hope I didn’t let down my “Where Bloggers Live” friends! We were tasked this month to share our tastes in music. I DO love music, SO many different types and so many amazing memories attached to songs that I wouldn’t know where to start. Actually, I’ll always start with “Beyond the Sea” (first dance at our wedding). Or maybe “September,” which once caused my friends and a much younger me to crank the radio, exit the car at a stop light, and joyously not care that we were in the middle an intersection. (DO NOT TELL MY CHILDREN.)

If you’d like to hear some of the motivating/happy music that I play while trying to get my work done around the house. you can access my Spotify playlist here.

If you’re inclined, I’d love it if you shared a favorite song below. Then be sure to see what’s on everyone else’s playlists by visiting:

Daenel at Living Outside the Stacks
Bettye at Fashion Schlub
Em at Dust and Doghair
Leslie at Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After 
Iris at Iris’ Original Ramblings
Jodie at Jodie’s Touch of Style

Welcome to the monthly edition of Where Bloggers Live, the brainchild of FashionSchlub’s Bettye Rainwater.  It’s kind of like HGTV’s “Celebrities at Home,” but…Bloggers! Who doesn’t like to peek behind the scenes and see inside people’s homes? Join us every second Friday of the month as this group of six bloggers shares their stories, spaces, homes, and more!

Make sure you visit everyone to see where the magic happens!