Let’s keep this real. I LOVE a clean closet. A “makes me really happy” kind of love, but not an “I want to marry it and have it’s children kind of love.”
But just because I love a clean closet, doesn’t mean I always have one.
Trust me, I have PLENTY of excellent excuses…and they’re all true.
I try to have closet cleanouts about every six weeks or so. I take everything out, sprawl all the categories all over my bedroom furniture, vacuum it out and then put it all back, reorganizing things by type and color.
In spring and fall, that would also involve a “clothing rotation.” The clothes from the outgoing season get folded for storage in my dresser and cedar chest, and the clothes from the upcoming season return to the closet.
The process usually takes all day, but my goal is always to get everything put back before Mr comes home… so he doesn’t walk into the bedroom and ask “what the holy hell happened here?” (That man has no closet or neatness challenges…with the single exception of his workspace, which is ordered, but in a “bomb went off and made neat piles” kind of way.)
I loooove coming back into my closet after a cleanout, congratulating myself on my uncharacteristic tidiness. Ahhh, the clean.
Are you picturing those lovely, chic organized spaces you find all over the internet…a little chandelier, a feature wall with hip wall paper, maybe a little staging area…a cute chair…a tuffet?
Then keep walking, sister.
I don’t have one of those. In fact, up until last year, it was a builder basic with one rack of wire shelving…which, for some reason, appealed to Kelly as a sleep spot.
While we’re all thinking, “Eeeewww,” you should know that I likewise didn’t love having a closet boarder. But I do love sweet, old Kelly. And since this is where I kept finding her, I eventually expressed my displeasure by putting her bed in there so she didn’t yuck up the carpeting. I always worried, however, that I would one day hear:
“Excuse me, Ma’am, but your dress smells like dog.“
I confessed this to a friend, by the way–a MUCH neater friend with a Pinterest-worthy closet–who gratefully acknowledged that her labrador did the EXACT SAME THING.
Last year, Kelly stopped climbing the stairs, and I was inspired to at least maximize my storage by adding a second row of hanging space to my builder basic closet. And, as long as I was reconfiguring, I decided to build a closet tower to maximize storage of my “foldeds.”
I used two lengths of predrilled, coated MDF for the sides, and plain sheets for the shelves. I had predetermined all the cuts i would need so I could have them done by the helpful folks at Lowes, then zip home and whip it up in an afternoon.
Everything was going great…until I started running out of time. I had a movie date with my daughters, and wanted to get everything put back before Mr came home.
Tick, tick, tick.
With an hour to go, I had all the wire racks redone and only had to move in the tower and attach hanging hardware to the side.
Let me tell you, heavy things don’t scare me, but the tower weighed a freaking TON!
Tick, tick, tick.
To get the tower in the closet, I had to turn it on it’s side, pop the bottom on furniture sliders, drag it in and shove it into place.
Tick, tick, tick.
Did I mention this tower was FREAKING HEAVY?!!! In addition…. Mr’s perfectly ordered closet is directly across from mine, so I had to slide the bottom of the tower INTO his closet, while simultaneously tilting it to get it to fit through my closet door.
I might have known this would be a problem had I paid the slightest bit of attention in ninth-grade Algebra.
Tick, tick, tick.
Finally I had the tower bottom slid into Mr’s closet, and the top tilted into mine. Then… one of the sliders fell off! I would’ve had to lower the tower to the floor, then climb over it through both doors to put the slider back on.
Tick, tick, tick.
SO I summoned up my hulk-like strength….
and all my stubbornness, said a very naughty word to myself and HEAVED that bastard into place.
Tick, tick, crunch.
NO, the crunch wasn’t audible and didn’t come from the closet tower.
It was more like a feeling and it came from somewhere to the left of my spine.
Despite whatever I did to my back, I finished the closet. And as Doesch drove us to meet Bear at the movies, I could already feel that I was going to pay for that heave of frustration.
I paid for it all through the movie, and for about the next five weeks…until I discovered (sing it with me):
Bob and Brad
The world’s most fa-mous
phy-sical ther-a-pists
on the in-ter-net.
After a week of Bob and Brad’s publicly available therapy, I was cured. (I mean, doesn’t everyone use Youtube to solve their spine issues?)
Finally, my closet had more storage, was dog free, and TIDY!!! And it has mostly stayed that way…
So, let’s begin the tour extravaganza.
Voila! The hand-crafted DIY closet tower of doom:
Notable storage tips, I always keep an attractive garbage bag on the back of the door handle for tags and miscellaneous junk.
As we turn to the left, we see the newly double racked, dog-free space:
As we continue left, there’s this not-so-attractive melange:
FYI, the white bag is stuffed with out-of season shoes, a solution you’re not likely to see on “The Home Edit.”
Go ahead, ask me about the green and gray stacked bins.
I can’t tell you, I’m too embarrassed.
Seriously, you’ll think I’m a kook. (I AM a kook, I just don’t want you to think so.) You won’t will you? Promise?
They’re filled with my family’s mismatched socks. Socks whose mates are somewhere just waiting to be found and reunited with their long lost partners.
Mr says to just throw them out. But I can’t.
I know that the minute I toss any of those singles, the mate will appear… like Mr. Darcy coming up the hill in Pride and Prejudice, looking for Elizabeth Bennet. But she won’t be there because I will have thrown her out.
I concede that I just discovered there’s a sock in the pile from my kids’ grammar school soccer. Meanwhile, my youngest is in his last year of college. So, I guess it might be time to accept the fact that Mr. Darcy isn’t coming.
See? A definite kook.
There’s also this:
…which means anytime we have trouble with our cable (and when don’t we), the cable guy has to climb past all this to get to the attic.
Dog in my closet? I could live with that. Twelve-year-old mismatched socks? No problemo. Cable guy? THAT makes me uncomfortable.
Confirmation: definitely a kook!
______
Last month, I goofed up my calendar for the monthly “Where Blogger’s Live” series and published a week early. THIS month, I did it again, but published a week late!!! My apologies to my blogging buds, who would enjoy having you visit their closets for this month’s installment:
Bettye at Fashion Schlub
Daenel at Living Outside the Stacks
Iris at Iris’ Original Ramblings
Jodie at Jodie’s Touch of Style
Em at Dust and Doghair
Julia at When the Girls Rule
Leslie at Once Upon a Time & Happily Ever After
Welcome to the monthly edition of Where Bloggers Live. It’s kind of like HGTV’s “Celebrities at Home,” but…Bloggers! Who doesn’t like to peek behind the scenes and see inside people’s homes? Over the next few months, a group of seven bloggers will be sharing their workspaces, their homes, towns and more!
Make sure you visit everyone to see where the magic happens!
It look so warm. Thank for sharing it!
Oh, I do love a good closest update! Having bought many an IKEA treasure in my day, I know how heavy MDF is (i.e. back-twisting, gut-popping, cry-whilst-dragging-the-box-into-the-house, mother-*%#@ing heavy), but your tower was well worth the effort! People don’t realize how useless drawers are for folded stuffs. I used to design closets professionally (for reals) and convincing people that they shouldn’t be putting their jeans and tees in drawers wasn’t easy, but the ones who listened were much happier and had much more success in life.
Dressers! I purged most of them from the house when the kiddos were little because they took up SO much room, and it was always difficult to find things in them or store things efficiently. Also, based on your comment…who wouldn’t want to be much happier and have more success. Damn, count me in!
I think I could use another tower for sweaters and shoes…but that will have to wait. For now, stuffing/hiding them on second row of racks is working just fine….
Going to be checking out your online physical therapists!! PC is aching from one end to the other. We keep wondering if it is going to rain because his arthritis flares up when we have even a 10% chance of precipitation. But it is dry as a bone. Hope you are still feeling better after your impressive tower moving.
I had puppies who slept under my bed every day. Big Siberian huskies. I am pretty sure my bedroom smelled like wet dog because they liked to swim in the ocean and then run immediately into the house and under the bed. We love our fur babes.
Had about given up on finding matches for socks over here when I found a cute metal sign at Hobby Lobby that reads something like ‘single looking to make a match’ and I hung a clothes line under it with clothes pins for my single socks. It was magic. From then on, I seemed to have nothing but matches. No strays.
I am going to pull everything out my closet next week and try to purge again. It has been almost a year. Time to evaluate again. Enjoyed seeing your closet, your colors.
Always puts a smile on my face to hear from you, Leslie Susan Clingan.
Siberian Huskies! Oh, gorgeous dogs! My uncle had two and they were beautiful….although one of them had a taste for the men in our family. A new neighbor walks a young one (Mika) past our house everyday…it is SOOOO well behaved!
Sorry to hear that PC is still having issues. I think I remember his back was bothering him a lot last year. The Youtube team has helped me through a few different issues…I think they’re great.
I will definitely sort out the sock bin “one of these days.” Hoping that will be sooner rather than later. I rarely go into the laundry area without finding randoms on the floor next to the dryer. I think the kiddos just assume they’re someone elses…BUT…your clothespin idea might be a great solution! Thanks!!! 😘
I want the chandelier in the first picture! Your ‘tower’ sounds like something I’d try now that there’s no one around to help if I do get in a mess. But, yours turned out well. Thanks for sharing and giving me a laugh.
Grace & Peace,Iris
http://www.IrisOriginalsRamblings.com
Don’t we all, Iris! I love those funky lights!
My closet is very functional but those swanky closets are sooo pretty! I just watched a gorgeous and $$$ makeover using IKEA units (via Frills and Drills). Wow!
The tower seemed a bit easier than it actually was, but I rushed my way through it…. works great though!
Girl…this post the hearty laugh came with the mismatched socks. Did you know that now it’s perfectly acceptable to wear two totally different socks. Seriously, they are knitted that way!!! SO bring them out and wear them (except those too small ones unless you want to save them for grandbabies…haha)
As for pets, both of my cats hibernate in our closets. Can you say cat hair on everything…ugh. But I figure if I call it an accessory, it’ll work!!
And your new space turned out amazing. Lots of wonderful space and even room for the ladder…now that’s impressive!!
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Haha, Bear wears mismatched socks all the time… Hmmm… maybe THAT’s where all the partners are!
Honestly, I have had this problem ever since they were little. I was obsessive about it when I used to do their laundry, but when I jettisoned that duty to them, the sock pile just grew and grew. Clearly drove me bonkers!!!
I always love reading your blog, it inspire’s me to do the things that are sitting there waiting for me, like my closet.lol
Ha, ha…Thank you Cynthia! That makes me happy!
What a fabulous post! I can completely relate to everything. I kept a “collection” of unmatched socks, probably more than 100 of them, for YEARS! My youngest will soon be 33 years old and I reluctantly threw out my collection only about a year ago. 🤦♀️ I was so obsessed with those socks that, when my son was in first grade and the assignment was to tell what the parents did, he said that his daddy is a doctor and his mother (me) “matches socks”! Oh the humiliation! 😂😂 I, also, have space issues in my closet, probably due to the over abundance of clothes, purses, and shoes…. Thanks for sharing your secret. You’ve made my day!
Hey, sole sister (see what I did there, haha)! WE are a match!
I love the story about your son…THAT is hilarious! Humiliation? Dang, that’s like a merit badge! My son would’ve said his mom “plays on the computer.”
SO happy you enjoyed the post and that that you said “Hi’!
A) I LOVE Hulk Em!
B) I was so JEALOUS when I saw the first picture of the “Lily Pulitzer Closet,” that I was actually pleased (I’m a small, small person) to see the REAL closet right below.
C) Janey loves the closet, too. I think they seem like caves to animals. Caves that smell like their owners. Doggy/kitty heaven.
D) Your AFTER looks FANTASTIC!
E) Is EVERYONE in love with their chiropractor/physical therapist?? I’ll have to go check out your boyfriends and see if they have any help for me…
F) THANKS FOR PLAYING!
🙂
Bettye
https://fashionschlub.com
B. Glad you appreciated the switcheroo.
C. LOOOOOVE your take on the caves that smell like their owners. Especially since she didn’t choose Mr’s cave, ha ha. Also, I prefer to think of the cave smelling like the owners, vs the clothes smelling like the pets.
D. Gracias. I have some refining to do. Plus, the “before” was pretty dismal.
E. I’m in love with feeling better after five weeks. That was getting disheartening. Plus, I didn’t have to leave the house or give a $45 copay. Who wouldn’t love that?!
F. Thanks for all the time it takes to set up the game…especially for dopes who don’t can’t count which Friday it is in a given month!
xoxo
Em I have to thank you for kicking off my weekend with great laughs. I can so vision you and the tower of doom. I would do the same way but with a “ I can do this by myself 😟” attitude. As for mis-matched socks…. Girl you just gotta “Let it(them) go” there is a special place in the universe for unmatched socks to be reunited with long lost mates 😊. Happy Friday
Hi, Lesley! Oh, definitely picture it! There are some times you will yourself to do stupid things and that was definitely one of them. It turned out that the juice was worth the squeeze, but for those five weeks I didn’t think so. YIKES!
I think you’re right about the socks. The days of finding the matches have passed!
Thanks for the visit!
You had me at the boob light in the closet pic! Might just try organizing my closet cave, while hubby recoups from surgery next week! He has decades of fashion flubs and shirts with logos ,that make him look like a walking billboard! Not to mention, the hundreds of ties, that in today’s business environment he never wears…. is there a craft for these …must include a glue gun because I suck ar sewing!! Xxoo your devoted fan Dee
Hello, Sweet Dee! Sorry this is late, for some reason it posted to someone else’s comment!
Anywho…
Those lights are the worst! Definitely bright enough, but so FOOGLY! There are still so many of them in our house.
Good luck to your hubs next week! Hope all goes well. Mr still prizes his ties…and still wears them to work (ar did way back when he didn’t work from home) even though pretty much no-one else does. He’s in mourning over SteinMart closing…it’s his favorite tie source. I’ve seen ties repurposed as belts (with the addition of a couple of D rings). Maybe woven into something…but I think that might require a needle. Haha.